Juliana: Volume 1: 1941-1944 by Vanda

Author:Vanda [Vanda]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: New Sands Studio Press
Published: 2016-05-27T22:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

“WE DON’T HAVE TO DO anything today,” Henry said. “I’m content to lay here next to you.”

Henry and I lay on top of my made bed, our heads propped up on pillows, fully clothed, except for our shoes. On the chair next to the bed, Henry had hung his jacket and tie. His cane leaned against the seat. The early afternoon sun streamed in through the window.

“No, you’re not.” I jiggled Henry’s shoulder and we both laughed.

We’d just gotten back from the Sunday Strollers brunch at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, near 9th Street. They had a sidewalk café there.

“No, I’m serious,” Henry said. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do it for my sake.”

“And you don’t want to?”

“Of course, I want to. I’m a man. I want to all the time. But I’m not a smasher or masher or whatever they call it. I know you didn’t enjoy it that first time.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“No? Then how come it’s two weeks later and we haven’t done it again?”

“We’ve been busy. I had that week-long radio stint on Gildersleeve plus Gimbels and the Canteen and my class with Mrs. Viola Cramden. And you’ve been reading those bad manuscripts and…”

“That’s not it. Doing, uh…that isn’t something you fit in when you’re not doing anything else. I think you’re afraid because that first time hurt you. That’s not uncommon, you know.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“What?”

“Aggie.”

“You told Aggie we…It’s good you have a girlfriend to talk to. It made me feel bad that it hurt you. I tried not to.”

“I’m sorry.”

He tapped my knee. “You have nothing to be sorry about. It hurt me, too.”

“It did?”

“When you said ‘go ahead, get it over with.’”

“Ooh.” I squinted my eyes. “I said that?”

He smiled. “That’s okay. I wanted to get rid of that barrier too so you’d get to experience how good it can be. But getting through hurt me physically too.”

“Like trying to drill a hole through Fort Knox.”

“Alice! I’ve never heard you speak so…”

“Crass? Sometimes things pop out of me and I don’t know where they come from. I’ll try to control it.”

“I’d like a chance to show you that it’s not always going to be that way, but not if you’re not ready. Are you sorry we didn’t wait till we were married?”

“No.”

“Does it bother you that I’m not in the service?”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe not, but I feel left out. Everyone’s overseas fighting to keep us free, and I’m here reading lousy manuscripts. It’s unmanly.”

“Henry, you are very manly. You overcame polio and you have an important job. You’re not some cripple hidden away in a back room. You’re somebody.”

“Maybe. But my colleagues at Scribner’s are all girls and old men. Everyone else is off having adventures. I get letters from my brothers and I…” He squeezed my hand. “You really don’t mind that I’m not in the service?”

“Of course not.” Actually, I wasn’t sure how I felt. I did admire Henry for his courage, the way he kept going when people on the street made fun of him.

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